Villainous Ascension

"The Wolf at the door" Dr. Daniel M. Kane MD

"The Dark Place" Brett Jones MS CSCS

"Section 8" -old military term

All of the aforementioned phrases can describe what i feel from time to time.  What you may have felt, or may even feel right now.

"Numerous studies have pointed to people's feelings of happiness correlating to how much control they feel they have over their lives" -frankie Faires.

"Just Do It" -Nike slogan of the 80s and 90s.

"Don't worry, be happy"-popular song and phrase related to Bobby McFerrin.

But what if the rising of the villain within, the knocking of the Wolf at the door, or the ability to Just Do It seems so freakin' out of reach that the option to retreat into one's self becomes the chosen path?  I have said before that i feel as though i am always exactly where i am supposed to be.  And i still believe it.  I continue to think that progress every day is a possibility and though we may make progress in a different direction each day, we can be better than before if we choose to. 

But i chose to retreat. 

The last few weeks have been tough.  They have been tough due to a few simple factors i have absolute control over yet i have chosen to "slip".  My nutrition has been defined by a caloric abundance, not great for a guy who really needs to stay within the 230-240 pound window.

My sleep has been chaotic as i have stayed up late and watched too much TV since Halloween.

My business has not taken in the desired amount of sales revenue and has therefore suffered.

And when compiled, and looked at under the microscope that is my own harsh self judgement, i appear to be one big 256 pound disappointment.  I have to right the ship.  I have to use foresight.  I gotta get back 'in the groove', one move at a time.  If everything is a shit test then i am a C student for this semester.  Average.  I am on par with all the other times in my life where i slipped.  I see it now, as it happens, rather than not seeing it until i am deep in the hole, but i am even more dissatisfied with myself as i know what i am doing wrong, i simply have chosen NOT to bring it back around. 

The only thing i could do today in order to put myself in a place where i feel like i have control was to challenge myself with a goal and try to meet it.  A simple goal.  Add some stress and hope that my body resolves it. 

Since i latched onto Gym Movement protocols and took the safe route to a better body and mind, i have only disregarded the elements of effort once.  In June i performed a ten minute kettlebell snatch test with a 24kg bell and went past the "Elements Of Effort".  I scored 202 reps in about 10:45.  Not bad.

So today, i used the minimum amount of distress and pushed into the elements of effort for 5 drills in my workout session in order to lift 30,000 pounds as fast as i could.  I tested and recorded all the data.  I was breathing hard, grunting, pushing past tension, and squeezing reps into sets that should have ended before any of that stuff happened.  But i knew that this was not common for me, in fact it is wholly uncommon these days, and even though i was intentionally distressing myself, most of the sets tested well.

Enough about my sad, sad state.  Here is what happened when i invited the Dire Wolf into my cabin.

Two handed triceps extension from high cable pulley:
90-130 pounds, 7 sets, 6:20 time.
Volume 7,840lbs.
Intensity 60-86%
Density 24.47%

Clean and Jerk with an asymmetrical stance:
135lbs. for 5 sets of 5, 9:18 time.
Volume 3,375
Intensity 65.85%
Density 56.47%

1 Arm dumbbell rows from a supported lunge position:
45lbs, 5 sets of 10 reps each arm, 4:23 time.
Volume 6,750 lbs.
Intensity 45%
Density 49.06%

1 arm kettlebell press from scissor stance:
44lbs, and 35lbs., 5 sets of 10-12 reps each arm, 7:05 time.
Volume 4,290lbs.
Intensity 46-58%
Density 48.23%

1 arm kettlebell snatch from asymmetrical stance:
44lb. bell, 10 reps each arm for 220 reps/11 sets, 15:01 time
Volume 9,860lbs.
Intensity in reps/minute pace = 90%
Density 49.83%

Total Volume in 50:00 32,035 pounds.\

I feel better but working out is such a minor thing that i can only tell myself that unless i pull it together and use this as a springboard, none of the work means anything.

And since it was competition day, where i disregarded the Elements of Effort, i cannot count any of these numbers as Personal Records.  And they will only mean something if i am better tomorrow than i am today.

Thank you for dropping in.  For a true view of a PR visit my previous post!

Time to hit the showers and keep looking up. . . .